


[UNNAMED CATBOY] GOES TO CHURCH PRIME

by Starbud



Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game), Tales From The SMP - Fandom, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Blind Character, Canon typical swears, Canon-Typical Violence, Church prime religion, Found Family, Hurt/Comfort, Immortal dream, M/M, Major character death in minecraft, Panic Attacks, burn injury, death ptsd, no beta we die like l'manburg, set after the first coup on jschlatt in an au where everthing is fine afterwords, time traveler karl
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-01-23
Packaged: 2021-03-16 00:09:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28697490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starbud/pseuds/Starbud
Summary: Catboy Corpse (Catttboy l'mao) is enjoying his morning until a stranger comes to his village and sets up a dangerous game. Suddenly everyone he cares about is dying, and so is he. He wakes up hundreds of years in the future, far away from everyone he knows, (or is he?)Robin is not having a good time.
Relationships: (Only in minecraft!), Clay | Dream/Corpse Husband (Video Blogging RPF), Corpse & robin, Tommyinnit & Tubbo, dream & robin
Comments: 26
Kudos: 238





	1. CAT BOY GETTING HIS LIFE RUINED! PepeLaugh!

Catttboy could feel the sun rise on his face as he sat on his porch in the rocking chair he and his partner had made. Years ago, he'd built his small house facing east for that reason. The warm breeze stirred up the spring flowers that decorated his front yard and the morning air was sweet. The door opened, and the almost soundless footsteps of Cornelius crossed the porch. He activated the creaky board and huffed quietly. 

Catttboy giggled. "Good morning, Cees," he said. 

"That it is, Kittty," Cornelius replied. He made an uncertain sound, and his cloak rustled as he leaned against the porch railing. 

"What's wrong?" asked Catttboy.

"Someone's coming out of the woods," Cornelius said.

"Someone we know?"

"Doesn't look like it. Their clothes are very colorful, and they look pretty patchwork. Seems like a traveler, or a vagabond. They look a bit shorter than me, about your height actually, and they're carrying something in their hands."

"Hello," a new voice called out. Catttboy grabbed his cane from where it rested next to him and stood up, tail flicking. Cornelius stepped down the stairs, leaving him on the porch.

"Hi," said Cornelius. "What brings you around these parts?"

"Could you tell me what this town is called," asked the stranger.

"You're in Not a Very Good Town town. Do you have business here?"

"Oh, that's great!" the stranger replied. "Yeah, I'm supposed to be here. Call me Karl."

"What brings you here," said Cornelius, slower this time.

"I'm here for business. Is there anywhere I could rent for a few nights?" the stranger asked.

Catttboy spoke up. "Unfortunately, we are currently in a bit of a housing crisis." As he said this, a door slammed open at their north, Helga's loud voice carrying from Bob's house.

"Yeah!? And what're you going to do, Shrimpy?"

"Hopefully nothing with you!" Bob shouted back.

Cornelius whistled like a kettle. "As you can hear, there's not quite enough housing to go around." 

More doors began opening and shutting as the town rose for the morning. Catttboy could hear the Robin's fast, too light steps across the worn dirt. 

"Good morning, Catttboy," they called.

"Robin! Good morning," Catttboy called back, momentarily forgetting about the stranger.

"Cornelius, who is this?" Robin asked. 

"Hi there, kid," the stranger… Karl he'd said his name was, said. "My name is Karl. I'm going to be staying here for a few days."

"What are you doing here, anyway?" Cornelius asked.

"Well," Karl spoke, "now that… is that everyone up? I can tell you, now. Please," he said, projecting his voice across the village. "Everyone, meet me at the well. I have something exciting for all of you."

Catttboy hesitated on his porch until Cornelius touched his arm. 

"C'mon," his partner said. "Let's see what he has to say."

Catttboy let Cornelius lead him down the stairs, detaching his arm once they reached solid ground. He lazily slid his cane across the dirt path in the village. The village held no surprises for him, aside for the occasional sharp pebble. He reached the paved cobblestone well at the center of the village. Cornelius stopped left of him. Robin fell into place on his right. The residents of the town chattered amongst themselves, indistinct conversations. "Who's this?" they whispered. "What's going on?"

Mayor Jimmy spoke up. "What brings you to these parts, stranger?" he asked.

Karl cleared his throat. He sounded several feet above the town. "Hail and well met," he called. His voice reverberated unnaturally. "I am The Narrator. You can all call me Karl. You will play a game."

Cornelius whispered descriptions into his ear. "He climbed on top of the well, even built up higher with dirt. Kind of a dick move. He has a book open. It's old. I can't read the cover, but it looks well made."

"I'm not sure I want to play a game," Jack the farmer said.

"Oh, but you do! Of course you do! Unimaginable riches await the winners of this game," Karl said from his tower. 

"And the losers?" Miles quipped.

"The losers do not get unimaginable riches," said Karl.

"I don't know that my town needs your unimaginable riches," Jimmy said. "I think we might pass. This sounds kind of suspicious."

"That's not only your decision to make," Karl's voice reverberated. "Everyone can vote on if they'd like to play the game and get a chance at the unimaginable riches, or go on with their life and walk away with nothing."

Once again, the townspeople murmured amongst themselves. Cornelius touched Catttboy's shoulder. 

"I think we should play," he said. "Imagine if we won. We could move somewhere nice. You and me and Robin."

"I'm going to vote yes," said Robin, slipping their small hand into Catttboy's. "Unimaginable riches sounds too good to pass up."

Catttboy smiled. "This is peer pressure," he said.

"Close your eyes," Karl said from his well tower, "and no peeking. We're going to do a private vote."

"I couldn't if I wanted to," Catttboy called at him.

Cornelius wheezed. Robin chuckled, and the rest of the town laughed. 

"He's red," Cornelius told Catttboy.

"Umm, anyway, yeah. No cheating! Everyone, don't look. Now," he said. "Raise your hand if you don't want to play,"

At least one sleeve rustled.

"And if you do," Karl said.

Significantly more sleeves moved.

"Majority wants play," Karl said from his perch. "Great!" Something scratching on paper was audible. "If you all look at your arms, you have a role. No one else can see it. Keep it secret. Catttboy, yours is raised."

"Thank you," said Catttboy, running his fingers over the letters on his wrist. "V I L L A G E R" it spelled, and then below that, it confirmed it in braille. 

"You will find," Karl said, with more scratching paper, "that you know now what your role means."

Catttboy did know. It was like instinct, like he had been playing this game since he was a child, and he shuddered. Catttboy wasn't sure he liked this Karl- this "Narrator"- poking around in his head.

"The rules to this game are simple. There are two murderers loose in this town!" Karl said enthusiastically. "The game will last three nights. Every one of you is either an investigator, a doctor, a villager, or a murderer. It's up to you, the townsfolk, to catch the killers."

"Wait, hold on a second!" Bob interjected. "You- you never said anything about killing people!"

Catttboy squeezed Robin's hand.

"Don't worry," Karl said. He did not elaborate. "Anyway, it's bedtime now. Go home, and let the game begin!" As he spoke, the sunlight moved and the nice day cooled. Karl could control the passage of time.

"Don't stare at the sun, Robin," Cornelius admonished. "You'll hurt your eyes."

"The… it… moved." Robin stammered.

"Would you like to spend the night at our house," Catttboy asked.

"I… I'm fine. I'll go home," Robin said.

"You sure?" Cornelius said. "Our house is always open to you."

"Even if it's the middle of the night," Catttboy said.

"I know, I know," Robin said. 

They held hands as they walked Robin to their door, bending down to give them a last hug. 

'See you in the morning," Robin said.

"I love you," Cornelius whispered.

"Goodnight," Catttboy said. He kissed their forehead.

Catttboy heard Robin's footsteps continue into his house, and his door open and shut. 

Cornelius grabbed his hand. "C'mon," he said, and they walked down the path to their house. The wind was cold. Catttboy climbed into bed. 

"You coming to bed, Cees?" Catttboy asked.

"I'm going to read for a bit," his partner said.

"Allright. Goodnight," Catttboy said. He rolled over and closed his eyes. His heart pounded. Cornelius wasn't reading. His pages never turned. The air was too still. Something was wrong. Catttboy did his best to steel his breathing, when everything stopped. Someone knocked at the door. Catttboy could feel his ears flick but otherwise didn't move. Cornelius moved, and the door opened. 

"Good evening," he said.

"You know why I'm here," said a voice he couldn't place.

"Let's not do this on the porch."

Two sets of footsteps entered the small house. Catttboy didn't breathe. No one turned any lights on.

"You know why I'm here," the unknown voice repeated.

"I do," said Cornelius.

"Do you have…" the voice hesitated. "Do you have any last requests?"

"Make it as quiet and neat as possible. No need to wake the neighbors."

Catttboy stuffed his fist in his mouth to muffle his scream as a harsh noise sounded through the tiny cabin. Cornelius didn't make a sound. Catttboy's shoulders shook, and tears spilled from his eyes. As suddenly as it had started, the door opened and closed.

The room was still. Catttboy took his hands from his mouth and wept.

"Cees…"

The love of his life. The man who he had intended to spend the rest of his time with. His best friend. They were going to adopt…

Oh God. Robin. They had planned to bring up their intentions to formally adopt them on the kid's birthday. It was in a month. Catttboy sobbed. What could he tell Robin. How could he breach the subject that their father-to-be was murdered a house over from where they slept soundly. 

Catttboy didn't sleep that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to call him [UNNAMED CATBOY] because I think it's hilarious that corpse didn't give his catboy a name but it was too bulky so I chickened out. I did research on blindness but if I made any major goofs please let me know. Chapter title inspired from Corpse's song CAT GIRLS ARE RUINING MY LIFE!


	2. CHOKE ME LIKE YOU CHOKE ME AT THE GROCERY WITH THE LAVA WE MADE LOTS OF SOUND WE GOT BANNED FROM SMP WHEN YOU CHOKED ME WITH LAVA YOU CHOKED ME WITH LAVA

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you thought the first chapter was sad, don't worry! It gets better.
> 
> Not quite yet though. 
> 
> I'm so sorry.  
> Tw's for description of injury, goes from "Do it then" down. If that's bad for you, stop from the bold section. At the end of the chapter is a summary of what happens.

The only thing that roused Catttboy from sitting alone in the bed that was too large was the knowledge that if he didn't let Robin know about this, Karl would be the one to tell him. Catttboy rubbed his sore eyes and found his cane propped up against the wall. He stood up and tried to bring himself to carry out his morning routine. As he crossed the house, his foot touched something lukewarm, sticky, and wet on the ground. Catttboy retched. The thought crossed his mind that he hadn't eaten anything in a full day, but he wasn't hungry. He washed off his foot and his cane in the sink and left the house. The air was cold and the wind bit. The sun wasn't up. As he crossed the porch, he stepped on the creaky board that Cornelius was always trying to get him to agree to replace. 

"No," he always said. "It helps me keep my bearings." That was the main reason. The second reason was the way that no matter how stealthy he tried to be, Cornelius always stepped on the loose board. How Catttboy knew that his partner always smiled when the board creaked.

Catttboy sighed. He felt his eyes well up with tears and blinked them away. He wasn't going to cry in front of Robin. The wind was freezing and threatened to knock Catttboy over but he persisted, grimacing. It felt like half an hour before he got to Robin's house. He climbed the stairs to Robin's porch, but hesitated before knocking. He could hear faint snoring on the other side of the door. Their breathing was slow and peaceful. There was no way Catttboy was waking them up. Catttboy made their way to the porch raining and leaned on it, ready to sit in silence until Robin awoke. 

Footsteps crunched against the dirt. "Good morning. It's me, Karl," Karl said.

"Leave me," said Catttboy.

Karl did not take his advice, and instead, Catttboy could hear him coming closer. He could sense Karl bringing his hand towards him, to grab his shoulder or his wrist or just shake his hand, he wasn't sure. It didn't make it. Catttboy grabbed Karl's wrist and spun it around into a hold he knew was uncomfortable.

"Please let me go," Karl said.

"The only thing keeping me from breaking your arm right now is the fact that my child is sleeping in that house. If you make any more movements to the house or do anything to wake them up I will remove your vocal cords," Catttboy growled. "Now leave me alone or you had better hope you chose a competent doctor for your little game. My partner is dead, and it's all your fault."

Catttboy was too busy threatening Karl to notice activity coming from the house, and the door opened as he was speaking.

"Catttboy? What's going on?" Robin's small voice asked.

Catttboy dropped Karl immediately. "Robin!" he said. He stepped towards Robin, who came to his arms.

"What's going on?" Robin asked again. They were so small.

"Robin, something bad happened last night."

"Where's Cornelius?" they asked. They started shaking.

"Someone came to the house last night and killed him," Catttboy said. He held Robin tight. Catttboy's sleeve was wet. Robin was crying. He held Robin tighter. "I needed you to hear it from me."

"Why…" Robin's small form heaved.

Catttboy rocked Robin in his arms. "I don't know," he said.

"Um," Karl piped up from the background. "It's time for Day Two to begin. Come to the campfire," he said, his voice projected across the village. Catttboy and Robin stood up hazily and walked over to the campfire, hand in hand as if nothing had happened. They sat on the same log. Catttboy pulled Robin close to shield them from the cold, wrapping his tail around them.

"Where is Cornelius?" Robin asked.

"I'm not sure," said Catttboy. The rest of the village filed over to the log benches.

Karl spoke from much higher than Catttboy knew his height was. "Welcome, everybody, to the second day! Congratulations are in order because you've all survived your first night! Unfortunately, the same cannot be said for our dear old Cornelius the Wise, as he was murdered last night."

"What?" shouted Miles.

"By whom?" asked Jimmy.

"Again," said Karl, "that is for you to find out. After you discuss who you think did it, we'll put the most suspicious townspeople for a trial. Good luck." 

With that, Catttboy heard him land from his perch and walk away. He could also hear scratching writing coming from his direction.

"Catttboy, did you see anything? Who it was?" asked Jack.

"I didn't notice anything. I couldn't tell who it was," Catttboy said.

"You lived together. You couldn't hear anything? Nothing?" Jack pressed.

"I… Someone came in… but," his voice cracked. "I couldn't tell who. I couldn't tell."

"That sounds convenient," said Miles. "You're telling us that you couldn't hear who murdered your boyfriend? Don't you have super hearing or something?"

"Robin has been awfully quiet," said Helga. "Who's to say the murderer isn't them, and Catttboy isn't just covering for his child?"

"No!" said Catttboy, gripping Robin tighter. "How dare you, you wench! Robin is innocent. I woke them up this morning."

"If Miles is going to be so quick to blame Catttboy," said Robin, "then maybe it's him. Did you ever think of that?"

Karl's voice suddenly broke through the chatter. "Investigation time is up!" he exclaimed. "Don't say it out loud, but I need everyone to think very hard about who they think the murderer is."

Catttboy was fairly certain it wasn't Miles but Miles was also casting a lot of sus onto him and besides Robin went after Miles and he trusts Robin so Miles was probably not the one who killed Cornelius (oh God Cornelius) but Karl said there was more than one murderer so even if he knew he didn't hear Miles's silly accent he could still be a murderer so it's Miles it's Miles I'm voting Miles. Catttboy's thoughts were woefully disorganized, but a foreign feeling in his mind told him that it was good enough. 

"The people who the village chose to put on the chopping block," said Karl, pausing for dramatic effect, 

"are," he continued.

"Miles Memeington!" Thunder struck. 

"Catttboy!" 

"What?" exclaimed Robin. Catttboy stood up trancelike. Robin grabbed his arm and held it. One clear thought broke through the fog of his head. Their arm was so small.

Karl wasn't done though.

"And Robin!"

Clarity shattered into Catttboy's mind. "No!" he shouted.

"Surely not!" said Robin. Lightning brightened the dark sky and thunder shook the village.

"I'm afraid so," Karl's voice cut through the noise. "Everyone to the prisons! We have a trial to perform."

Catttboy put his arm around Robin, who just shuddered in their place. "We have to go," he whispered to them. He wasn't sure why. 

Wordlessly, Robin initiated a hug, and Catttboy enveloped their small frame in reassurance. "It will all be okay," he whispered. Robin shook. Catttboy could feel their tears in his shirt. He squeezed them tighter. 

"We have to go."

"Yeah," they said. They slipped away from Catttboy, latching onto his hand, and sniffed loudly. Catttboy squeezed their hand tight, and they walked over to the prison where Miles was already giving his defense.

"So as you can see," he said in his silly accent, "I couldn't be the murderer because all I know is steak." The town applauded. 

"Robin?" Karl called.

"What do you need," Robin said, not emerging from Catttboy's protective hold.

"It's your turn on the stand," Karl said.

"Whyyyyyy," Robin groaned into Catttboy's arms.

Catttboy was hit by a brief, foreign flash of annoyance. "You have to do it," he said.

They peeled their small body off of Catttboy, whimpering.

"Go on," Karl said.

"Fine," Robin huffed.

Catttboy heard Robin's light footsteps walking away from him. They crunched on the gravel in front of the prison. 

Robin cleared their throat. "I haven't had a very easy life, you see. When I was young, as you all know, my mother became ill. Despite my best efforts to help her, she passed away before me. Then, my father got shipped off to fight in the Red-Eyed Village Wars, and went missing in action. This is not news to you all. What was news to me," they said, "was this morning, when I learned that Cornelius, a man who, I'll say it, I considered like a father, was murdered in cold blood in front of my other father figure, Catttboy. Now, you all think I did this, but I implore you to rethink. All my life, death has surrounded me. Almost everyone I care about, everyone who has ever acted even slightly parental towards me, has died tragically. Break the cycle. You can all break the cycle. Please, vote out Miles."

The scattering of applause following his speech seemed confused. Catttboy felt tears roll down his cheeks. Robin walked towards him, but just as they grabbed his hand, Karl spoke.

"Catttboy, it's your turn to defend yourself," he said.

Catttboy squeezed their hand. "It'll all be okay, Robin," he said. Then he let go of their hand and walked up in front of the jail.

"I…" As he stood, his mind was blank. "I'm not sure," he said. More tears fell from his eyes as his voice broke. "I can't… I didn't kill… I'm not a murderer. I didn't kill anyone. Please, though. Robin deserves… Robin deserves a chance to live. Please. If you're thinking about voting out Robin, vote me instead. They're innocent. I promise. Just… Please."

No one applauded. 

"Contestants back on the stand," Karl called. Robin walked back up and stood next to Catttboy. He curled his tail around them. Miles stood further away from them. "Townspeople, think your votes," Karl said.

Catttboy weighed his choices. He honestly wished the decision between himself, Robin, or Miles was harder, because he really had one option.

Miles was one of the newer citizens of the town. He'd moved in right after Cornelius in fact, and immediately, Catttboy remembered, he'd raised a barn for his cows. It smelled so bad that Catttboy had a mind to go over to his house himself to ask Miles to move it, or at least clean it more often. He never got to do that because just as the smell of cow shit permeating the air of the village became unbearable, a second smell cut through: grilling. The first thing Miles had done in the town was throw a backyard barbecue, and it'd had the best food Catttboy had ever tasted. Catttboy didn't dislike Miles. For all his silly accent was worth, he was a pretty cool guy, one Catttboy considered a friend.

He may have been chill, Catttboy thought, but there was no way he was going to let Robin die on his watch, and he also wasn't about to leave them without a father on his watch. I vote Miles, he thought.

Robin's hand slipped into his. It was trembling slightly. "Don't worry, Robin," he said. "We'll get through this. Don't worry."

Robin hummed.

"May I have your attention," Karl said. "Results are in!"

Some townsfolk clapped. There was at least one whistle.

"Results are in," Karl said, "and folks, you'll never believe it! Well, I guess a majority of you will actually believe it, but," a lever was activated. "We have our first vote!" 

Catttboy's tail swished.

"Robin!" Karl said.

"No," said Catttboy. He took a step towards Karl as the man continued speaking.

"Is safe!" he said.

Robin grabbed Catttboy's hand back, and Catttboy pulled them into a tight embrace. 

Karl wasn't finished yet. "Catttboy, on the other hand." Catttboy could hear Karl's footsteps approach.

"I'm going to need you to step into the cell."

Static filled Catttboy's limbs and he let go of Robin. He stepped away from Robin, and towards the prison door. Robin cried out in alarm, grasping at Catttboy's arms. They held his arm, trying to pull it. Trying to stop him, but they were just too small. Catttboy continued, internally screaming at himself to stop, let him go. Let him return to Robin! He kept walking, and eventually, the hard dirt under his feet transitioned into the hot stone of the jail. Robin still had a hold of his shirt. 

"Get your arm out of there, Robin," Karl said.

"No!" Robin said.

"Robin, I need to shut this door," he said.

**"Do it then," they shot back. There was the sound of an iron door shutting, and then another, worse sound, and then the smell of blood cut the air, and then Robin screamed.**

"Robin!" Catttboy exclaimed, diving to the door. It wasn't shut all the way.

"Catttboy, help," they wailed.

"Oh my honk," Karl said. The iron door was released, and Robin fell onto Catttboy. 

"Are you okay?" asked Catttboy. "Where is it?" He helped Robin sit up.

"My, my arm!" they said. Catttboy could feel warm liquid dripping onto his pants, and tears welled in his eyes. 

"Shhhhhh," he said, holding them close. "It'll all be okay."

"Are you okay in there?" said Karl.

"Shut up!" Robin shouted.

"Shh, shh shhhhhh," Catttboy said, rubbing circles into their back. 

"Honking damn it," said Karl. "We need to keep this moving." Thunder cracked over the village, and it started raining.

"Robin," Karl's voice echoed. "I'm sorry about your arm. You need to come out of there."

"Never," Robin said.

"Don't make this difficult," he said. Catttboy heard pen scratching and suddenly, Robin wasn't in his arms anymore. The cell door shut before Catttboy had time to react, and outside, fainter, he could still hear Robin crying.

"Alright," said Karl. "Alright." His voice reverberated. "Today, we bore witness to a heinous crime. We witnessed the murder of our beloved Cornelius, taken from us by Catttboy!" The town murmured.

"As he did this, and as punishment for this violent criminal act, Catttboy must be executed!"

"No! No!" Robin choked. Catttboy stood at the cell door. No one believed him. Everyone was against him. He barely heard Karl step towards him over his own heartbeat, but the sound of a lever flicking was monumental. Machinery activated, and the floor was ripped out from under Catttboy. He grabbed at the door, the iron bars, the walls, but he couldn't grasp anything. He gasped as he fell, as he was plunged into unfeeling heat. The last thing he heard was Robin's anguished yell as he sunk beneath the surface of the lava.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title comes from Choke Me at the Grocery by Quackity.
> 
> After the injury tws, Robin gets their arm shut in the cell door, cutting it badly. Then, Karl separates them from Catttboy and Catttboy is dropped into the lava, dying.


	3. I JUST WANT MY FAMILY BACK TRYING TO FIND MY WAY HOME BUT YOU ALL JUST WANNA WALK ME AROUND ON THIS PRIME PATH MAN WHAT GIVES

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey swears go up this chapter because we're hanging around in Dream SMP present. 
> 
> **Warning for ptsd triggers and panic attacks. If that's bad for you, skip from the bolded section down to the second bolded section. It'll be summarized at the end notes.**

The first thing Catttboy noticed was a cool breeze on his hair. It was a welcome contrast from lava that had boiled him alive what seemed like only a second ago. The next was that he could hear leaves rustling and birds singing. He was in a forest. Something was off though, and at first he couldn't put his finger on it. Then he realized. The birdsong was different from any he'd heard before. This was unnerving, but he couldn't do much about it for now. Instead, he pushed himself up to his hands and knees and started feeling around his new environment. His hands brushed against something solid in the pine needles, and grabbing hold of it, he could tell it was a fallen stick. It wasn't the strongest, he felt, but it was long and thin, and Catttboy could use it to explore a larger radius around him. It brushed against something tall and hard, which turned out to be a cobblestone wall, and he laid a hand on it to follow it as far as it went. Perhaps it would lead to some civilization. As he walked carefully, he could hear footsteps that weren't his. He stopped and listened. They were approaching. As they drew nearer, he could tell that there was more than one person walking. The people spoke loudly.

"Tubbo, can I get some Primes? Did you know that most people have a Twitch Prime that they don't even know about? It's free money, really."

"Wow Tommy," said a second voice. "That sounds like a scam, but it really isn't. It's just free money out of nowhere!"

They were talking nonsense. What in the world was a Prime? He ignored that confusion for now and instead called out.

"Hello? Who's there?" 

"What the fuck?" said the first voice. "Who is that." They came closer. 

"Oh my god," said the second voice. "That's a cat! Who are you?"

"Where am I," said Catttboy.

"Well you're on the Dream SMP," the second voice said. "Which is strange, because Dream hasn't said anything about anyone new joining. Have you got a name?"

"My name is Catttboy, and I'd like to know where I am," Catttboy said.

"I think you look like a Mellohi. Can I call you Mellohi?" said the first voice.

"Umm," said Catttboy. "Sure."

"Pog," they said. "I like you. My name's Tommy, and this is Tubbo." 

"Nice to meet you," said the second voice. "I'm Tubbo. So you're new here?" he continued.

"I… I guess so," said Catttboy.

"Tubbo, I'm hearing a tour," said… Tommy.

"Yes!" said Tubbo. He grabbed Catttboy's hand and started to pull it. Catttboy ripped his hand away. 

"Are you… alright?" said Tubbo. 

"What the fuck," he said.

"Tubbo, 'es got something wrong with 'e 'ed," Tommy whispered loudly. "Ghosts in 'e 'ed."

"No?" Catttboy said. "I'm fine. My head is fine. Just don't grab me out of nowhere like that."

Tubbo gasped. "Oh!" he said. "I'm so sorry. I didn't realize." He lowered his voice. "Tommy, he's blind."

"Ghosts in 'e eyes?" 

"Yeah, that's it. Ghosts in my eyes," said Catttboy. "Where the fuck am I?"

"We give him a tour," said Tubbo.

"Yeah!" said Tommy. "Yeah, it's Tour Time, Bitch!"

Catttboy heard them quickly walk away from him, and followed, keeping one hand on the cobblestone wall and the other on his stick. As he walked through the leaves, Tubbo began speaking.

"So, right now, you're in the Dream SMP spawn, and we're actually headed out of it, toward the Prime Path."

"Could you… describe it?" asked Catttboy.

Tubbo hummed. "Well, we're currently in a spruce forest, and we're surrounded by a cobblestone wall. We're coming up on a break in the wall that opens onto the Prime Path."

As he spoke, the wall he was touching ended. He hesitantly swept his stick out in front of him. He took a few steps guided by the stick, and it hit a ledge. Feeling it out more, he deemed it to be around six inches tall. It was a step up to something and felt like wood. Stepping up the ledge, his foot caught. He cried out as he fell flat on his face. Tubbo and Tommy, whose footsteps had not stopped, came running back to him.

"Jesus Christ!" said Tubbo.

"Mellohi! Are you okay?" asked Tommy.

Catttboy groaned. He brought a hand up to his face and could feel blood on his eyebrow. It wasn't fatal, and he was pretty sure he didn't have a concussion, but he also didn't want to do that again. 

"Do you need help?" asked Tubbo.

"I… yeah, that would be good," Catttboy said. Tubbo wandered closer to him, touching his shoulder.

"What do I do?" Tubbo asked.

"Here," said Catttboy. "Give me your elbow," he said, taking Tubbo's arm. "and tell me about any stairs or tripping hazards coming up in the path, please."

"Okay," said Tubbo. "Anyway, we're on the-"

"We're on the Prime Path," Tommy interrupted. "It connects to every major landmark on this server, and has for as long as the server has stood. Umm, stairs in a few feet," he said, as Tubbo said, "Stairs."

"Thanks." Catttboy felt with his stick, making certain that his foot was secure on the wooden step before attempting the next one. Tubbo's guiding arm helped.

Tubbo continued the parable. "As we walk along this Path, we remember to pray for a brighter future where everyone holds the limitless knowledge that is in the universe. Where everyone has access to the glory that is Prime." 

He began humming as Tommy picked up the sermon. "The Prime Path is where we ask for Primes and gently remind everyone that they have the power to change their status in life and in the eyes of Prime God."

**Catttboy was so confused, and the likely head trauma was not helping. "What is a prime?" he said.**

Before he could get an answer, his next step came up empty. He was falling. His companions both shouted, grabbing for him, but they couldn't get to him before his lower body was plunged into a flash of shocking temperature and his forehead knocked against a ledge. He threw his hands forward to catch himself, scrambling for something to hold onto. He ended up with someone's ankle in his grip, and he pulled them off balance as he sunk below the water. His body was cold, and it burned, and he could hear Robin scream, and it was so bright and he could hear gears grinding and the lava was so thick and he couldn't breathe and his body was hauled back onto the path. Catttboy curled onto himself. He was so cold. It burned. Everything hurt. He couldn't breathe. It burned, and he shivered, and he could hear the town laughing and he couldn't hear anything and he could hear Robin talking. 

"Catttboy?" Robin said, and they were shaking him.

"Catttboy, breathe. With me. In and out. Tommy, can you get someone?" they said. They breathed in deeply and Catttboy could hear them breathe in slowly and then out slowly but his heart was going too fast and his body was hot it burned and he wasn't getting oxygen and someone was talking. He didn't know where he was but he could feel the world under him move and then he passed out.

~~~

**Catttboy came to to a splitting headache and familiar voices. He was in a bed, and he recognized the whispering voices of Robin and Jack. Groaning, he tried to sit up, but was pushed back down.**

"Hold on, not so fast," said Jack. "Tubbo, can you help him up?"

"Of… of course," Robin said.

Tentatively, Robin pulled Catttboy up. A pillow was pushed behind him and he relaxed into it, much more comfortable.

"How are you feeling," asked Jack.

"My head hurts. What's going on?"

"You've been injured. I'm going to ask you some questions, do you think you can answer them?" said Jack.

"Sure thing," said Catttboy. 

"First, could you tell me your name?"

"Catttboy."

"Great," said Jack. "Do you know where you are?"

"Not a Very Good Town town," Catttboy said. "Could you tell me what's going on?"

Jack hummed. "Well, you're concussed, you have a sprained wrist, and a few miscellaneous flesh wounds. You're not in that Not a Good Town. This is the Dream SMP. You've been unconscious for around three hours. I've been treating your injuries."

Catttboy got a bad taste in his mouth. "Who are you," he asked.

"My name," Jack said, "is Ponk. I'm a doctor. It's nice to meet you, Catttboy."

It wasn't shocking. It wasn't, but Catttboy froze anyway. His shoulder that Robin was still holding became numb, and he turned to them. 

"And you?" he asked.

"My name is Tubbo," Tubbo said.

"Oh," Catttboy said. Memories of his day began slipping into his mind. The birds. The stupid wooden path. Falling into the lake. "Oh," he said.

He sat, still and unmoving for what could have been seconds or could have been an hour. It would've definitely gone on much longer had the door not been slammed open. Catttboy flinched hard.

"I'm back Bitches!" yelled a voice he remembered as Tommy from that morning.

Tubbo's hand left his shoulder. "Did you find Dream?"

"Yes he is here," Tommy said.

Catttboy could hear Tommy almost stomp into the room and he could hear Tubbo step towards him. Their footsteps almost covered up another, almost soundless pair entering the room behind Tommy. The newcomer's voice though, when he spoke, was clear. 

"What's happening?" asked a voice he'd known for years, and didn't think he'd ever forget. His partner's footsteps crossed the room. Cornelius made his way to the foot of his bed. 

"Who are you, and how did you get here? Why weren't there any notifications in the system when you joined? Who let you on?"

Catttboy didn't know the answers to any of those questions. "Cornelius?" he asked. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In from the bold section to the bold section, Catttboy falls through a hole in the prime path into the community house lake and has a flashback to his death in lava. When tubbo saves him from the water, it dissolves into a panic attack and he loses consciousness, and Tubbo sends Tommy to get help.
> 
> Is this how the geography of the smp actually goes? I have no clue. Do I care really? Nah.
> 
> Title inspired by CABIN FEVER by Corpse


End file.
